Sunday, February 15, 2015

Film Review: Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Scary Movie 5 (Review)
United States/2013
Format Viewed For Review: Netflix Instant
Netflix Streaming: Yes
Amazon Prime: No

"...worst of all, it's not funny."

Charlie Sheen dies and his kids are adopted by Jody (Ashley Tisdale) and Dan Sanders (Simon Rex). Then, a bunch of random stuff happens.

Scary Movie 5 is a parody of a few horror films and a lot of popular films from other genres. Off the top of my head, Scary Movie 5 spoofs Evil Dead, Black Swan, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Paranormal Activity, Inception and others. This story follows Jody and Dan in what is primarily a spoof of Mama... To be honest, I don't think there was much of a story here. I mean, I feel like it's unfair to me to have to write a plot overview for this film. Yes, I know, I'm reviewing the film, but it's difficult. Here's the plot: nonsense. It's a scene or two from other films that the writer tried to convert into comedy scenes. That's it.

This is one of the worst films I've ever reviewed - as bad as Seed 2 - let me get that off my chest immediately. Really, it's terrible. The story is horribly constructed and practically nonexistent -- many of the spoofs are also irrelevant. Scary movie? More like Every Movie, right? Even worse: the humor is horrendous. It's mostly slapstick and random humor, and 99% of it falls flat. There's one scene with Terry Crews where I chuckled. One scene. The rest of the humor was repetitive and stupid - and I'm usually fine with "stupid" humor!

I don't think the writer even tried. It's mostly, "Have him get hit with something. Okay, now repeat it three times. Now have Ted and other irrelevant characters appear. Do that again three times. Good, good." At first, I was going to call this film's 1hr 13min runtime a slap in the face because there are nearly 15 minutes of credits and bloopers, but I think it's a saving grace. Thank you! Thank you for ending my misery a few minutes earlier than I expected.

Aside from Terry Crews and the child cast, the acting is bad. The film is shot competently. I mean, it's nothing impressive, but at least my head didn't hurt. Director Malcolm D. Lee crafts a repetitive and bland comedy. I'm not sure how much direction was actually going on. This isn't all of Lee's fault, though. No, the blame goes to writers David Zucker and Pat Proft. The humor in this film is so stale, repetitive, and needlessly random. There are hardly any jokes here, too, it's mostly gags, slapstick, and wordplay. That would be fine, if it were actually funny or clever. I know I may sound pretentious, but, trust me, I'm not. I can laugh at so-called "stupid" humor, if it's funny. I'm one of the few people who actually enjoyed Scary Movie 2 and A Haunted House 2!

Overall, Scary Movie 5 is a horrible film. I didn't laugh more than once. If you're looking for an actual horror-comedy film, check out A Haunted House or its weaker sequel. Better yet, go watch Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. Don't watch this. It's boring, it's lazy, it's nonsensical, and, worst of all, it's not funny. Please, give this series back to the Wayans or at least bring it back to Scary Movie 3 quality.

Score: 1/10
Parental Guide: Some violence and blood, some brief nudity and sexuality.

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